Beauty at its finest.

It took me a long time to truly be happy with this face of mine.

It’s not like I ever thought it needed to be hidden away from the world in a tall tower or in a paper bag or anything but it was just this lingering uneasiness about it. I felt it randomly but especially in the moments I’d catch a glimpse of my reflection. My personality always had to outshine my looks and my mind always had to outshine my strength.

At a young age I was frumpy, awkward, and hairy and at the time, I was embarrassed. I realized later in life that it shouldn’t have even mattered because honestly so was everyone else.

It wasn’t until couple years ago, where I started to fit into my looks more that some of my friends would call me an “ethnic goddess” when we’d get ready to go out and I could not understand where that came from. I didn’t know if they were just being super nice or just batsh*t crazy or both.

“I quickly realized that started with strengthening my longest relationship. The one with myself. If I couldn’t enjoy my own presence then how could I expect anyone else to?”

Then after a bad breakup I started living on my own. I was determined to do everything I could to be happy and I quickly realized that started with strengthening my longest relationship. The one with myself. If I couldn’t enjoy my own presence then how could I expect anyone else to?

For me it started with parts that I liked and pieces I didn’t fully appreciate. I started to shift the way I thought about my faults. Rather than problems I had, they were traits that no one else possessed in exactly the same fashion and it made them unique to me. Then one day it all came together. That uneasiness was finally replaced with peace.

Growing up in this age where comparison and altered perfection is flooding our minds at all is tough. It’s easy to become swept away with invalidation of yourself, especially if you haven’t had the chance to grow to your full potential.

Im here to tell you this stage of acceptance for yourself will take time. That length is very different for every person and it may take several experiences to reach it.

So for now, dig deep, remind yourself of how radiant you truly are, and surround yourself with women who are able to see your beauty, especially in the moments that it’s hard to find on your own.

Published by HonestRambles

Post-grad master's student navigating through the ugly, stressful, and worthwhile moments of being a nontraditional pre-med. Living off good energy, over-priced coffee, and reminding myself why I choose this life everyday.

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